TL;DR: We don’t.
How many astrologers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
I guarantee you hundreds of astrologers will be posting about the latest steaming pile of crap this week because it’s the Winter Solstice. It’s always about how next year will be better because of all the things that disrupted the “cosmic flow.” What follows is a hopeless call to action to live your best life. The format usually reads the same: Pluto is squaring Uranus and Saturn in the solar 7th house of love and relationships, so this means… If you’re an Aries, here’s what to expect next year…
Perhaps not those exact words, but it’s something similar. You may not even get a New Year forecast (because the astrologer isn’t confident in their work), but the article itself steals time from me that I can’t get back.
Despite my low vision, I speed read by default, so I automatically skip giant walls of text that don’t say anything. Very simply if you want to do better astrology, apply strikethrough to all your astrological terms and jargon (ie 4th house, Pluto Square Saturn, Solar houses etc).
You’ll be surprised how little you’ve actually said. Bad astrologers intentionally confuse their audiences by using “astro-babble” so they can gloss over the holes in their knowledge base. Most people don’t have the know-how to formulate meaningful questions since talking big makes me an undisputed expert. I know this because I used to do astrology in this way. Thankfully I’ve found the light.
Whole chart analysis
Uranian Astrology concerns itself with the symmetrical representation of planetary axes in triplicities to each other. The Sun is a single planet, and it doesn’t even represent that much. In Uranian Astrology, the Sun refers to: The day, the body, and to an extent, health matters. That’s about it! You have to add the Sun with other factors to really gain insight and clarity. This is why Uranian Astrology is always a Whole Chart Analysis. Planetary axes in triplicity (above) implies that there are at least 3 things that we’re looking for. Doesn’t it follow that
It doesn’t take a brain to figure out that the three green circles are not in a symmetrical pattern in relationship to the red arrow. The circle up top definitely falls on the arrow, but the other two Suns do not line up in a triple pattern. It’s meaningless to go further without a specific intent or question, so the Winter Solstice is just another day. The only difference that makes it “special” is that it’s at 0 degrees Cardinal. This carries no significance in a single-factor analysis.
If they DO line up, then something concerning “Sun matters” might come to life. I can’t say what specifically, because that depends on several layers of additional inquiries and planetary pictures.
Making it Personal for that extra edge
It is true that literally every person born on your birthday will have multiple double and triple patterns that stack up in the same ways they do in your chart. Uranian Astrologers pride themselves in accurate astrology readings because we also factor in Personal Points. The Meridian/Ascendant midpoint is an assessment of “where you are in the moment.” You need to have this in its own triple pattern alongside all your confirming formulas, AND they must all be symmetrical to each other.
What about eclipses and retrogrades?
Let’s review. Unless there’s very specifically a planetary picture in a triple pattern at the EXACT degree of a celestial phenomenon (like Venus retrograde or a lunar eclipse), ain’t a damn thing gonna happen. I don’t care if Mercury Gatorade goes through Aries or whatever. What we do over here in Uranian Astrology uses math and algebra to determine when things affect you personally. If the math doesn’t balance itself out, then I’m not interested because that’s not science.
You won’t find me giving horrible-scope forecasts anymore. Sun sign astrology is candy masked as tripe for ignorant people so they can use “spiritual” hashtags on social media.
Lezbhonest. The real reason you’re even on my website is because you’re looking for good astrology and answers to your chart questions. I understand that you’re here for free information, but Uranian Astrology is a deeply powerful and personal tool. Consider opening your wallet for a personal consultation.
The difference between me and my competitors is that I actually DO astrology. You’ll have to find someone else if you want to talk about astrology. I get what it’s like to be a broke-ass bitch–I know–I used to be one–
But you know what’s really bad? Getting ripped off sucks.
Good astrology for all
When I was getting deeper into the Westeranian side of things, I paid $1,000 to Arlene Kramer for an 8-hour in-person intensive at her home in Woodland Hills. I very specifically asked her to teach me some Uranian Astrology since she had studied with Hans Niggemann, one of Witte’s students from the Keplerian Circle. Kramer was one of the biggest names in Uranian Astrology on the American side, and she was President of the AFA. I figured spending that much hard-earned money for some astrology education would be worth it. Sounds peachy, right?
You know what this bitch did to me? She convinced me it would be useful if I knew the foundations of how to erect a Western chart by hand. Remember I very specifically asked for Uranian and she serves me this Western trash. What’s worse, Kramer couldn’t even do the work herself, so I spent 8 hours totally confused, and she just siphoned me of $1,000. And if that wasn’t enough, Arlene tells me I could take more lessons at $150 an hour! I hear she took a sharp decline into senility and her final months of life weren’t pretty. I’ll refrain from posting her chart out of respect to the deceased. RIP Arlene Kramer, I wish you better astrology the next time around, but thank you for shaping my experiences to find the right path.
How can you be any good if you’re charging these prices? Shouldn’t you be spending a lot more?
This is where my saltiness with astrologers begins. Do you know how many groups I get banned from because I offer free readings? Westeranians and Western astrologers alike are screaming that I give away free astrology. I am well-aware that
My pricing and rates are determined by fair compensation for the work rendered. I love everything about Uranian Astrology so it never feels like work. Imagine some other craft people do casually after work and happen to be good at. Astrology is my professional hobby. But I do have a lot of brain damage, so I can only work in small intervals of time. I am always busy, but everything can wait (sorry Kevin). I always have time for me, and things that are important to me. Life is more enjoyable is this way. You can only max Donkey Kong Country 3 at 103%, and I promise to always give you 105% of what you ordered.
Congrats! You won!
In an effort to make astrology accessible to everyone, I created this special service. This is the only place you’ll find this offer on my website, so the only place you’re getting this rate is here. I am going out of my way to get you to come into the light, so just pull the trigger. Good astrology is only moments away.