One of the most debated topics in astrology (and probably life in general) is that of freewill. Do we really have control over our actions, or was everything we do in life planned out prior to coming here?

The answer is yes. Uranian Astrology is recognized for its precision, so by using  mathematical equations and formulae to accurately time life events, it makes you wonder if we really do have any control over life.

As I get deeper and deeper into this work, I’m often asked what would have happened if s/he did Y instead of X to prevent Z from happening. The reality is, we can never know, and it was planned to happen anyway, so you’ll save a truckload of time by accepting life events and learning from them, because this “coulda-woulda-shoulda” business doesn’t work.

It’s like the Final Destination movies. If it’s going to happen, it’s going to happen.

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I think the only things we really have control over have to do with mundane personality characteristics, like the type of music we enjoy, kind of car we drive, or really anything based on preference, like deciding what to eat for dinner. Many of these facets of life will be inherited from upbringing as a child.

For example, I enjoy watching retro game shows and I usually choose Nintendo over Sony. I don’t care much for watching movies (give me the TL;DR), and my palate is bland, so you won’t find me checking out that new foodie joint.

Since Witte describes the Midheaven as the “I,” or ego-consciousness, it’d make sense why deep stories and shock value align with my entertainment preferences since my Midheaven is in Scorpio. Someone with an Aries Midheaven will have largely different tastes, but that’s because of the Aries energy on that angle.

But if we have no freewill, then why bother doing anything at all, ever, since this is all planned out? Does life itself have any meaning whatsoever if this is the way it really is?

Out of sheer curiosity, I had to check to see if it was predetermined that I’d be sitting in my desk chair, typing away on my computer as I write this post. Our charts can’t reveal every minute detail of our lives, can it?


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Pointer on transiting Moon (Hour of the Day)

Well, it checks out that my chart didn’t say I’m going to be sitting here at this moment having a conversation on speaker while writing this. It also probably doesn’t say that I had pizza for dinner (shh, don’t tell my personal trainer!) and closed my eyes for 20 minutes.

While Uranian Astrology is able to pinpoint major life events such as a new job, marriage, or even death, the mundane sorts of daily activities seem to be obscured in the 90º dial—It’s as if human beings bear some level of invisibility in the endless web of life events so the Almighty can’t see our every move. For now, rest assured that terrible conversation you had with your friend about your ex will go unnoticed.

But if you drink too much and lose all your money at the casino because you were doing stuff that’s abnormal to your sober behavior pattern, that’s definitely ALL YOUR FAULT.

Or is it…? Your chart might say something about money losses for that day, so now it’s a matter of deciding how that’s going to happen. And that’s where freewill comes in.

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My chart July 4, 2002, the date when it all changed…

It may not be inherently obvious, but this was a huge day in the story of my life, and carried some pretty nasty weather along with it.

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pointer on the Sun (the Day), July 4, 2002

My recent observations have shown that when a person has a directed planet that’s covered by a transiting outer planet or TNP (excluding Jupiter and Saturn), something strange starts to happen in the native’s life, and it’s like a whole new cycle is on the verge of beginning.

For those of you wondering, the above charts from Aureas software are for the date when I became physically disabled as a result of nerve damage. I used to get angry with myself, wondering if all of this could have been prevented had I only rushed to the hospital as soon as I had symptoms.

My neurologist says this is what always happens when you radiate that area of the brainstem, so it wasn’t a matter of if or how, but rather when. (I don’t believe in Western Medicine for the most part, but this guy I totally trust.) In my case, that was July 4, 2002.

Since we know that the nerve damage could have been avoided, how does freewill play into it?

In my case, it wasn’t like I suddenly woke up one day and my entire left side was all messed up. No, there was a progressive decay the month prior, but I didn’t think much of it, because I was doing a ton of stuff my doc told me not to do and was embarrassed about my actions.

After any brain radiation, there’s a lot of swelling, and those nervous tissues connect to vital bodily functions. After exposure to highly focused gamma rays to effectively burn the diseased area, it’s inevitable that some wires are going to get jammed up, or very close to causing an electrical disaster to happen.

I had just started working out by this point in my life and was showing some results, but my trainer really emphasized high weight, low reps, which is the polar opposite of what’s healthy for your brain, especially when you’re dealing with a lot of edema.

When my hand first started to act up, I ignored it. Then I met with the trainer. And my hand gave me worse symptoms. And so on, and so on, until I finally woke up one day and it was closed shut. It’s been like that 16 years now.

If you read between the lines, I had a choice in all of this, and didn’t pay attention, but it was going to happen anyway, so why bother?

Well, it’s better to say I became disabled from working out so hard that I caused brain damage than because I went on a one-month meth binge. Or worse yet, because of diabetes or cancer.

But again, if this is already planned out before it all happens, why bother?

Let’s get really existential for a minute.

You heard it first here.

One of my worldviews believes that life is a giant television show and we’re the characters. Spirit is the only staff writer, and we’re in constant negotiations prior to incarnation about what we need to learn in this life. The result is what’s known as the birth chart, and the glyphs combine through planetary symmetries to create a hieroglyphic language that tell the story of our lives. We get to choose our preferences and tastes, which is defined by the Midheaven. It’s like we know what’s going to happen, but we’re not yet aware.

If you really think about it, the soul cycle/journey is just the summation of all experiences, and it obviously takes multiple lifetimes to achieve this.

But if it’s all predetermined, why do it?

I think we all know where this is going…

When we’re awake, we’re conscious, and when we’re asleep we’re unconscious, right? Life therefore happens in a conscious state. Life is a conscious experience.

In an existential model, life is an unconscious experience. When we’re asleep and the unconscious mind is out experiencing the infinite facets of Soul throughout the multi-dimensional multiverse, the mind is now fully awake, then goes back to sleep as the physical body wakes up along with the Ego, and the unconscious living experience resumes.

One step further, the existential model implies that life is a dream. It’s like we’re balloons  rising up higher and higher into the sky, until something either comes along and pops the balloon, or it simply runs out of helium and dies.

Wow, so life is like a balloon. Sad.

Eventually, all these deflated balloons unite and merge collectively to become one full jigsaw puzzle, which is the Soul Cycle.

But wait, if life is a dream, then does that mean any of this existence is real?

Short answer, no, but it’s much more complicated. Life is real in the sense that because EVERY human being will have an entirely unconscious life, which is not real by nature. When such a thing happens to an entire mass of people, it becomes the new normal, sort of like how it’s genetic destiny in the distant future for men to eventually be born with breasts just like women are today, but by this point, it would make female humans superior since they were the first attempt at this, and so the Natural Selection process begins. But that’s not for like another two or three millennia.

Our thoughts exactly.

It’s not really worth attempting to link Freewill with Reality or Proof of Existence, because they’re too loosely related, and we can’t ever really know until this life is all over and done with, but when we come back to do this all over again, life is still unconscious in an effort to satisfy the Ego’s need for excitement, perils, and obstacles.

Imagine that when the Soul travels through the birth canal as it prepares for incarnation, it’s holding tightly onto a scroll containing all the contracts, life events, and connections it was going to make. The scroll is the key, or map, to guiding the native through their experience on this plane.

But at the moment of arrival into the physical vessel, the Soul loses grip of its precious scroll and it shoots up into the cosmos, providing an instant snapshot of the planets at the moment of birth, like the map serves as a type of instant camera film, but there’s only one shot, and sorry no refunds!

This is one of many reasons why I love my job so much. You start off with one idea, and the logic trail leads you to a completely new set of questions, but at the end of it all, you have a newfound appreciation for everything because a new slant on anything is a good thing. (Well, maybe not slanted eyes. That’d make them more slanted. Ouch. I feel bad for Siamese cats now.)

The same thing will often happen when looking at a planetary axis or whatever, and I start noticing all this other stuff, and it tells the story.

Here’s the TL;DR version—


Keep your chin up, we’re all in this unreal game together!

The most important notion in Uranian Astrology is the question you ask. It has to be worded perfectly, or the astrologer is unable to give an insightful answer.

Anyone with an intermediate knowledge of astrology can answer questions to determine whether or not something is advisable, or how it’s going to play out. I should clarify and say your answer may not be accurate to the situation, which is often the result of the astrologer’s inability to interpret the chart in relation to other factors. Like with any calculation or technique, a single chart is never sufficient information to derive any sort of answer; you have to integrate information from multiple sources.

Part of what makes Uranian so powerful is its ability to uncover the root psychological reasoning for the question itself. This is handled most frequently by “asking the chart a question,” which then reveals all the relevant planetary symmetries that relate to the Native and her/his question.

Let me give you an example. Recently, I asked, “So…when am I going to get some hot cha-cha?” (“Hot cha-cha” is another way of saying sex. Don’t ask, ok?)

By asking my chart the question and studying the relevant axis points, it becomes painfully obvious that the real question isn’t about getting laid, hiring sex workers, or going on trips of self-indulgent debauchery in Vegas, it’s about my desire to really connect with others intimately in a non-sexual manner. I think that’s what they call friendship?

Without going into a disastrously long story about my primarily solitary lifestyle, it’s absolutely true that I would prefer to hang out with someone and shoot the shirt or wreck some benches online in a rousing game of Mario Kart 8.

I believe this can be expanded not only for just astrology, but life in general.

One of my favorite self-help books is called Why You’re Stuck. I say it’s my favorite because I read about 60 pages and did the exercises the author suggests. (I normally read five pages, get bored, and do the exercises in my mind.) I never finished the book, but it can all be summarized with one simple phrase:

“Show me the real truth.”

This has been a long-running private joke for many years in my life, and it’s all thanks to my dad because his English skills are poor, and he doesn’t seem to get that there’s no such thing as “the real truth;” there’s only the truth.

Or is there???

Upon further consideration, I realized that beneath every truth is the real truth. Show me.

One of my hobbies is screenwriting for television, and I’ve got a few original Pilots under my belt, but thinking logically for storytelling doesn’t come as easily as you might think, especially when my ideas are naturally outrageous and crazy, so when I get stuck on something that doesn’t seem to move forward, I start by breaking down the character actions and plot in such a way that gets me to find the root of whatever I’m working on.

Astrological questions should do the same thing: It’s not about the lack of time (because everyone is so busy, right?), so what’s the root cause that leads to the lack of time management? Is it family? Is it lack of money? The list goes on, and so does my analysis in order to figure out why something’s being triggered and in what ways. There are usually multiple axis points that are active.

In any event, here are some helpful tips for when you get a reading to show me the real truth—

1. Don’t heckle.

It’s probably a bad idea to waste my time and ask me the first language you spoke growing up. Worse yet, if you’re going to be a total idiot and heckle someone by asking your nationality, it’s only a matter of time before you get dropped as a client, or anger the professional because you’re not taking the work seriously.

For the best experience possible, avoid questions that don’t make any sense, as in they’re filled with typos, unintelligible text (non-human language), or my favorite ones that deal with when Planet X is going to come and destroy the human race. Just…no.

2. Be precise.

Uranian Astrology concerns itself with the nature of your question, so it needs to be exact. If you’re going to ask me about when you’re going to get married, why are you asking me this? Is it for security? Is it about money? If it’s to marry rich so you can get away from your evil stepmother, I’m going to suggest you need counseling and end the session. Sorry, no refunds!

I get a lot of questions about relocation, but it’s always important to know the reason for moving. What are your goals? If it’s for retirement, what type of retirement do you seek? A happy one, a wealthy one, peaceful…? The list goes on.

3. Ask about your potential within reason

This is secondary to Number One (Don’t heckle), but avoid asking about things that are such a long-stretch of the imagination that they could never happen. For example, if you’re a teacher, it’s egregious to ask about quitting your job to become a professional dog walker or dishwasher at Jean Georges (unless you’re genuinely serious about it, in which case I’d look more deeply about those types of potentials). But really, do you want to waste your precious email readings on insanity that’s unlikely to come true? If you’re a lottery winner, I’ll let you know upfront. And I’ll happily accept a 15% rake/tip!

4. Keep the focus on yourself.

If you’re going to pay me my consulting fees to gain insight into your issues, it’s unwise to ask about someone other than yourself. If you want to play the lovesick client and order batch chart impressions for the 9 people you’re talking to on OK Cupid, Tinder, etc., I’m happy to take your money, but the reality is the odds of getting an accurate birth time from the scammer in Swaziland are pretty low. Haven’t you seen all those shows on Dr. Phil about catfishing?

People like parents, children, etc. have a way of coming up in the chart on their own, but while your chart isn’t going to tell me if your husband’s having an affair, his actions will play a part in your chart, though not as clearly.

5. We’re not God.

Astrologers are not God. It’s impossible to supersede the powers of our Supreme Intelligence. So don’t ask me stupid shirt like when you should conceive your next child, when to take out a two-million dollar life insurance policy in an attempt to defraud the life insurance company, or when to play the lottery so you only have to buy one ticket. The only instance when a birth time to the second is ever required is for In-Vitro work, so keep that in mind.

While Uranian Astrology can be used to determine when a lost object may be found, your chart isn’t going to say if you accidentally threw it away, put it in your purse, the list goes on. You need a psychic for that kind of thing—Astrologers concern themselves with life planning based on potential, not at which bar you left your Versace sunglasses.

Having just resigned as a “psychic advisor” for a well-known and -respected company (can’t say which one due to legal reasons), I have to tell you what I learned about working on a phone line.

1. It’s outrageously expensive

In most cases, your pay-per=minute is going to be pretty steep. Most callers paid over $300+ per hour to talk to me, which is more than double my hourly rate. Before I can even give you a reading, I have to cast your chart in some type of software, which requires setup. It’s impossible to use with paper and pencil (which I love and do often in my private work) because of how much time it’ll take to cast everything, so I have to use a program like Nova ChartWheels or Aureas.

Most people complained about all the initial questions I had to ask in order to even get started, but how else do you expect me to give a quality reading unless I have your birth data?

Now the expense has begun. Even in full=on crack-addict mode, it would take me a minute to get everything inputted so I can see what’s going on and get to your questions. When you’re paying $$$$ per minute to talk with me on a hotline, there’s no way to put you on hold or schedule a callback so I don’t have to charge you for the setup. Some services are different, but this is rare in hotline format these options are considered longshot luxuries.

On a more positive note, once I have your chart(s) saved to whatever databank they’re in, it takes a few seconds to get up and runningI just have to find your name. I also have the great fortune of having a memory that’s more hung than an elephant, so I’m going to remember most everything about our previous conversations (plus I often make a few notes to help me avoid previous questions).

2. We’re astrologers, not psychics

Astrology is fantastic for looking at things like when you should get surgery, if you’ll be successful in signing up for a Premium membership, or what new career opportunities you should explore.

While I will always believe Uranian Astrology is the psychic for you, there’s a distinction here: Astrology absolutely does not deal with lost objects, messages from departed loved ones, or what your boyfriend thinks about the fourth girl/guy in his rotation.

The first call I ever got was from someone who was distressed about losing a piece of jewelry, and the birth time was unknown, so it was truly impossible to work with in any way since there was no way to know the Ascendant (home, location). I couldn’t even use a Horary chart because the Moon was void-of-course!

I had another caller who gave me an astonishingly nasty and vulgar review because she didn’t like the way I read her “cards.” She wanted me to read a tarot spread (which I don’t do) when my advisor description very clearly said, “I’m an astrologer.” I redirected the conversation to talk about the chart, but s/he was stuck on getting a card reading.

3. People are lovesick

Quite honestly, if it weren’t for people being royally forked up towards others when it comes to basic human decency and love relationships, all types of metaphysical consultants would be out of business.

It was always amusing when I’d get calls from people who wanted to know if they should stay with their current significant other, or run back to their ex. As they’d describe the absolute atrocities they had to endure as a result of the other person’s actions, I was often dumbfounded as to what would cause a person to feel so insecure and worthless to put up with such nonsense. It’s like, come on, really??? Have you not been paying to the whole #metoo campaign that’s been in the media?

I would probably make a terrible counselor or therapist because I live by a zero-tolerance no-bullshirt policy, which means the moment a conversation turns into “poor me,” whining, or complaining, I quash the broken ego by redirecting into a more empowering mode. “I totally hear what you’re saying, and let’s explore this a little further.” Look at what the chart says, then provide meaningful solutions based on what’s going on. Like so many other Gemini, I’m a speaker first, and a listener never, and so being proactive comes naturally. Quit thinking about whatever’s on your mind—Just forking do it!

4. We’re fish out of water

When I tell people I worked for a psychic hotline, the common association is that I’m like Miss Cleo (may she rest in peace).

Maybe a teensy bit because good astrologers have the ability to forecast what’s going to happen in the future, but that’s where the similarities end.

I don’t read cards, look into crystal balls, or wear a turban. Astrologers have a unique lens for looking at things, which is even more true for Uranian astrologers like me.

The unfortunate thing is that the masses don’t connect with astrologers on psychic hotlines because they recognize our readings are complicated and involve a type of scientific method or mathcraft.

The average caller wants someone who’s going to connect instantly without tools, or can pull a few cards here and there to intuit the information the caller wants to know. The reading should take about five minutes in total, no setup required, and hitting on personal stuff gets them to buy more credits.

It’s catastrophically difficult to give a quality, objective reading in just five minutes. In fact, the average test reading for these services will run between 15-20, so it’s nearly impossible to figure out whether you’re going to get back with your ex in such a short time without first analyzing several midpoint axes, directions, etc. Truth be told, astrologers just aren’t popular on hotlines because of the time needed to give the right answer.

5. People are downright mean

In an attempt to modify my reading style to work better in a hotline format, I experimented with using an oracle deck I’m in the process of creating (release date: TBD) and this involved reducing the necessary birth data to just a birthday.

I messed up in one call because I misspoke and stated the caller was the wrong sign, and that review was…negative, to say the least. The caller promptly hung up after a few minutes.

Having used psychic hotlines in the past, way before I knew really anything about astrology or metaphysics (yes, I was rather lovesick at the time), I spoke with several advisors about the same issue, and would hang up the moment I was told what I didn’t want to hear.

I think that’s the point of psychic hotlines—People talk over and over to different advisors about the exact same question, and they continue their rotation until they find the person who tells them what they want to hear. It’s unfortunate, but that’s the way it goes.

Not once did someone tell me to have a nice day, thanked me for my work, or really any sort of cordial greeting. I could tell very quickly when someone was distressed by the tone of voice. I knew if there was a depressed sort of tone, it was going to be a difficult call that wouldn’t last long.

Working a suicide hotline would be hard for this very reason; the main difference with a psychic hotline is that people aren’t that depressed, and the high minute rates keep that sort of emotional instability away. But in general, people who call a psychic hotline aren’t happy, though I did have the rare caller who phoned in just to chat and talk about new developments headed in their love life.

6. Where are all the dudes?

I suppose from a purely alpha male perspective, guys wouldn’t ever call a psychic hotline unless they’re gay, into some type of metaphysics/spirituality, and/or lovesick.

I actually never got calls from guys who wanted to know about their love life. The only male caller I got wanted to speak generally about career outlook. Most of the guys I heard about were from females who were caught up in emotional quicksand and wanted to know if the guy in question would come back.

I’m not sure why I feel such a connection to the alpha male spirit—One therapist suggested I connect with other guys in this way because it’s a reflection of who I want to become—and I think it’s so unfortunate that there aren’t many straight men who are into this type of work. It’s unlikely that anyone will ever have a predominantly male clientele unless they’re offering some kind of sexy adjunct or side business, but I remember the one time I had a male caller so I could connect with someone who saw the world through a different lens.

Way back in my past, I once attended this group in Washington where people learned about various divinatory subjects, and I met this dude who wasn’t very bright and really struggled to open up psychically—I actually never understood why he even attended, seeing the material was so insanely hard for him to grasp.

We tried to connect offline and it never happened. I then went through a brief phase when I tried to connect exclusively with guys, and that bore no fruit whatsoever. i’ve always fantasized about having a group of friends or colleagues that call ourselves “astro-bros” or whatever, but it seems like a total longshot at this point. You know, have a jingle like, “Three guys, one multi-verse.”

If I do run into guys at events, it’s mainly because their girlfriend dragged them along, and they just want it to end so they can go home and drink a cold one. I think about the only way I can get guys to sign up with me is if I specialize in some astro-psychological program that gets men to not only understand women, but also teaches how to be respectful. Like Ricki Lake’s “Charm School” (a total disaster of reality programming, but damn, I did love me some classic Brittanya fights), but with a male-centric theme that is quiet and respectable, devoid of any serious chaos.

And there you have it! Astrology readings don’t work on psychic hotlines that are like a chop-shop where you take multiple callers in a queue, but do work well with services that allow you to educate customers on the importance of birth times and give you the opportunity to schedule callbacks so you can adequately prepare without wasting valuable pay-per-minute time.

It was a great experience, but I’m glad to have moved onto the next phase of my career.