The Language of Uranian Astrology

Every good astrologer can read a chart. One of the biggest criticisms about astrology is that people don’t “believe in it.” Excuse me? Astrology is a language, are you saying you don’t believe in Spanish? 

All my informational materials are originals I curated personally. Plagiarism is for losers. Don’t be a dick.

I think the problem is that society is slowly tarnishing astrology as a impractical pseudoscience with the sensationalism because of things like Buzzfeed sun sign compatibility (omg no), and other trashy articles that attempt to fit literally every person on the planet into one of twelve descriptions. Oftentimes the “horrible-scope” that shows under your sign isn’t 100% accurate. Then Western astrologers tell you that you also need to consider your Moon and Rising horoscopes because they’re also true. WTF?

Why don’t you just tell me to read the whole goddamn everything and pick the ones I like best? Oh, you’re just trying to baffle me with more BS so I open up my wallet to you or whatever org that’s preventing me from being a better astrologer.

What’s worse, charlatan astrologers that can’t read a chart capitalize on the ignorance of people by throwing down all this astro-jargon in hopes it’ll confuse your audience because it sounds fancy and intelligent. I poke fun at this situation because I used to be this guy. Back when I practiced American Uranian, I wrote newspaper horoscopes for 3 years for The Desert Bowler news publication. If I had space to fill and I couldn’t make sense of how to generalize a prediction to fit literally every person of that zodiac sign, I’d throw in a ton of astro-babble (planet-aspect-sign-house… ad nauseum).

The great news is Uranian Astrology done per the Hamburg School of Astrology (before greedy Americans got their hands on it and added Western crap) cuts away all the BS with a giant meat cleaver because we don’t use houses and signs. The biggest part of the methodology is for the astrologer to understand the interaction of planets in the sky in relation to happenings on Earth. The visual chart representation expedites the process of dissecting recursive planetary symmetries.

A lot of times I’ll be faced with a cold read that starts out something like this. Completely ignoring the fact I have monocular vision–so it takes me twice as long to process what I see–it is an overwhelming task to disseminate information when there are 23 planets, Personal Points, TransNeptunians, ALL their midpoints, resulting in nearly 8,000 combinations of those 23 planets!

But if you know the meanings of the planets, you can quickly chunk together meaning based on keywords and phrases. Witte believed the astrological system must consist of simple norms, so it’s my aim to simplify the complexities in the diagram above by teaching you how to group similar pieces of information.

I know you’re on this page because you either saw me on Linda Goodman from my Westeranian days, or very simply want interpretations on Hades in whatever sign and house. I acknowledge Western Astrology with TNPs and midpoints puts you above most of Western Astrology, but I’m a Uranian purist.

My door is always open. Now please close it when you leave.

I’m also aware you’re probably not going to open your wallet to me or check out my Consultation page because you’re here for free interpretations and that’s it. I know. I used Bob Marks extensively when I was learning Traditional Astrology, and no, just like you, I didn’t open my wallet, either. I’ve decided to yank my old pages on individual TransNeptunian planetary analysis because they’re Westeranian applications I was too lazy to update because I kept getting clicks.

The best way to be of service to information seekers is to offer you a few free resources that are a preview of bigger things to come (that you have to pay for). First is the free lesson on Personal Points, and then I go as far to give you the invaluable guide Planets and TransNeptunians.

You’re welcome–

Ooh yeah, now that’s the good stuff…

This is what you came for, yes? I’m just a standup guy like that.

Come on, show us some love–You know you want to. It’s a known fact the universe awards good karma points to good tippers!

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