Work with me

“Avoid interpretations of sorrow with this astrology of tomorrow.”
-Ludwig Rudolph

One definite hallmark of Uranian Astrology is its precision. Given the current economic state and what’s to come, it behooves anyone to pay for an hourlong consult where you hear the same inane crap they talk about over at CafeAstrology. You didn’t hire me to speak in some astro-babble junk, nor did you hire me to tell you about your life since birth. Many astrologers will waste your time and money with such witch hunts, but this type of practice is disgraceful and spiritually bankrupt to true Uranians such as myself.

I’ll give anyone a free live reading but there has to be an upcoming show for this to happen. Can’t wait for the next show? Don’t want your private stuff out there for everyone online to hear? Do you have a question I didn’t address in the free reading? These are ALL reasons why you’d hire me.

Let’s follow this Standard Order of Procedure so you can achieve the best reading experience possible. This is optional, but I promise you’ll get a better result if you can follow any of this.

I think we can agree the inquiry always arises because of a situation. There’s a job expo, you enter a new relationship, somebody does something messed up to you, whatever. Now your peaceful existence is interrupted and you need to know what to do next because there are likely major life changes involved?

There’s not much coincidence you’re on this webpage reading about how to get a reading. My work is ruled by the planetary combination of Uranus/Hades=Apollon which is the formula for this astrology in particular. You’ve got some karma to resolve here, and I’m always happy to guide you through the fiery pits of your consciousness as we begin to explore the alchemy of your life.

First and foremost, get your reading now, not later. I don’t say this because I want you to pay me, I say this because while we may not have any freewill in the actual life events that happen to us, we absolutely have freewill in our actions. It’s my personal choice to call up Crystal Metheny or Annie Bananie. You see where I’m going with this?

Behavior modification goes a long way. It’s like becoming a nonsmoker or recovering from any sort of addiction. One day at a time, I choose to be healthy. I might not like making change, but I know it’s good for me and the impact it has on my life is worth it.

The reason?

One of the reasons we work with over 8,000 formulas is because is because there’s a formula for literally everything. Astrology is a language, so various planetary combinations yield different manifestations or outcomes.

My chart demonstrates intimacy and love relationships ware problematic for me, so I spent years in therapy trying to figure out why nobody wants me. Meanwhile, nobody wanted to address the “risky business” personal life stuff going on in the foreground. This isn’t to say that I can “hack fate” and prevent things from happening, but the outcomes will certainly be colored differently. Maybe the stroke isn’t as bad because you decided to quit drinking (or whatever). Good to know these things in advance.

Data is everything. If what brought you to me was a question about moving, be sure to include other dates/times relevant to your inquiry. Let me know the other dates you moved. Month and year is hard enough for most people, but usually that’s all I need. This is always the first place I’ll start when working to answer your question. If you want to know when love is coming your way, tell me the other years you were in relationships so I can look at the future by understanding the past.

Last but not least, let’s decide what type of reading is right for you. All sessions are on Skype, Zoom, or Discord. You choose!

Express Analysis (+1 follow-up email)

To qualify for this offer, you were on my show but I declined your request because it takes too much time to work out and it’s a live stream. I will further clarify and continue on the same track for no more than 200 words. I will reply to your response once (you can’t buy more emails so think wisely but they never expire) and then will close the thread. Turnaround is within 2-48 hours.



Basic Analysis (8-10 minutes)

The astrology is always free in the live reading on my show, so this option is for anyone who would like the same general reading but in private. Or you can ask a question of your choice and get an in-depth answer!



Full Analysis (30 minutes)

I’m a high-energy and fast-paced person, and Uranian Astrology is precise for a reason, so I work in focused half-hour sessions. Whenever you have a major issue you need to know the future about, this is where you hire an astrologer to excavate your future options so you can achieve the best outcome that fits your soul’s needs. Remember I’m much more than an astrologer–I’m an alchemist–so the Full Analysis shows you the low and high roads as outlined by your actions. I am only able to process two questions per Full Analysis.


Getting Started

To get your reading going, be it on our live free readings show over at Uranus Happens, or for yourself privately. I will need to collect the following info:

  • Date of birth
  • Place of birth
  • Time of birth
  • Present location
  • Your birth time is printed on your birth certificate. I am unable to read you unless you have an exact time of birth, none of this “I think it was about 10AM” stuff. This is a rule, not a request. Please and thank you!

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