Work with me

“Avoid interpretations of sorrow with this astrology of tomorrow.”
-Ludwig Rudolph

One definite hallmark of Uranian Astrology is its precision. Given the current economic state and what’s to come, it behooves anyone to pay for an hourlong consult where you hear the same inane crap they talk about over at CafeAstrology. You didn’t hire me to speak in some astro-babble junk, nor did you hire me to tell you about your life since birth. Many astrologers will waste your time and money with such witch hunts, but this type of practice is disgraceful and spiritually bankrupt to true Uranians such as myself.

I’ll give anyone a free live reading but there has to be an upcoming show for this to happen. Can’t wait for the next show? Don’t want your private stuff out there for everyone online to hear? Do you have a question I didn’t address in the free reading? These are ALL reasons why you’d hire me.

Let’s follow this Standard Order of Procedure so you can achieve the best reading experience possible. This is optional, but I promise you’ll get a better result if you can follow any of this.

I think we can agree the inquiry always arises because of a situation. There’s a job expo, you enter a new relationship, somebody does something messed up to you, whatever. Now your peaceful existence is interrupted and you need to know what to do next because there are likely major life changes involved?

There’s not much coincidence you’re on this webpage reading about how to get a reading. My work is ruled by the planetary combination of Uranus/Hades=Apollon which is the formula for this astrology in particular. You’ve got some karma to resolve here, and I’m always happy to guide you through the fiery pits of your consciousness as we begin to explore the alchemy of your life.

First and foremost, get your reading now, not later. I don’t say this because I want you to pay me, I say this because while we may not have any freewill in the actual life events that happen to us, we absolutely have freewill in our actions. It’s my personal choice to call up Crystal Metheny or Annie Bananie. You see where I’m going with this?

Behavior modification goes a long way. It’s like becoming a nonsmoker or recovering from any sort of addiction. One day at a time, I choose to be healthy. I might not like making change, but I know it’s good for me and the impact it has on my life is worth it.

The reason?

One of the reasons we work with over 8,000 formulas is because is because there’s a formula for literally everything. Astrology is a language, so various planetary combinations yield different manifestations or outcomes.

My chart demonstrates intimacy and love relationships ware problematic for me, so I spent years in therapy trying to figure out why nobody wants me. Meanwhile, nobody wanted to address the “risky business” personal life stuff going on in the foreground. This isn’t to say that I can “hack fate” and prevent things from happening, but the outcomes will certainly be colored differently. Maybe the stroke isn’t as bad because you decided to quit drinking (or whatever). Good to know these things in advance.

Data is everything. If what brought you to me was a question about moving, be sure to include other dates/times relevant to your inquiry. Let me know the other dates you moved. Month and year is all I need in most cases, but this is always the first place I’ll start when working to answer your question. If you want to know when love is coming your way, tell me the other years you were in relationships so I can look at the future by understanding the past.

Last but not least, let’s decide what type of reading is right for you. All sessions are on Skype.

Basic Analysis (10-15 minutes)

Most popular choice! Ask any single question of your choice and I’ll give you an in-depth answer! If your chart doesn’t have the potential to manifest what you’re asking, we’ll discuss alternate action plans.


Full Analysis (50-60 minutes)
  • Covers the Big Three: Health, Love, Career. You get an overview of where you are right now in the moment and we’ll address the upcoming 3-6 months. Please advise if you have a specific inquiry as this is oftentimes a full session. Sliding scale fee schedule to accommodate all budget types. Make the donation that’s right for you.

Getting Started

To get your reading going, be it on our live free readings show over at Uranus Happens, or for yourself privately. I will need to collect the following info:

  • Date of birth
  • Place of birth
  • Time of birth
  • Present location
  • Your birth time is printed on your birth certificate. I am unable to read you unless you have an exact time of birth, none of this “I think it was about 10AM” stuff. This is a rule, not a request. Please and thank you!